Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
