u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
We had sex on a dog bed..
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You were trust falling into bushes
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