hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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