I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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