Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
This house was built for laser tag.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
