I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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