Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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