My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
