he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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