He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize