Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
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