Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
