when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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