I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
