so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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