I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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