YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
