I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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