I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
my phone needs a breathalizer
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
