He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
...so i touched it.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
