You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
