Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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