It's Friday. Sex?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
