idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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