I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
