It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
