my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
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