well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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