Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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