i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
