whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize