my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize