it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes