I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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