Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
