Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
