i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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