Well apparently he's into motor boating.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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