shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Two words: nipple clamps
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