there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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