Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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