Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
