I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
