Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
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