Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
The power of my boobs compel you
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
