my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize