So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
