i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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