Midget sex pt 2 tonight
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
We talked him into tasing himself.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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