I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize