3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
