i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
