Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
