Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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