About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
