Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
