im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You're a waste of cheezeits
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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