Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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